Why I’m Sharing This Story
There is a story I have never shared publicly before, but it is one that has shaped the way I understand self-trust, self-confidence, and what it means to advocate for yourself when the world around you feels uncertain and you feel misunderstood.
I have thought about sharing this story many times over the years. The reason I held back was not because I regret the experience or because I am uncomfortable standing behind the decisions I made, sadly I have held back out of the fear of knowing that certain conversations can quickly become focused on who is right, who is wrong, or whose opinion should win. This is literally the opposite of what I stand for so I let the fear shrink me and keep me quiet.
So before I share this story, I share my hope that we can approach this conversation with the same respect and compassion I strive to bring into every conversation. You do not have to agree with someone to treat them with kindness.
The Season When I Had to Choose Myself
During the pandemic, I made the personal decision not to get the medical treatment that was being rolled out. I am still scared to write the words, because so many accounts were shadow banned for it at that time, and as someone who built a business on Instagram, that fear has left a mark.
In 2021 when I had to decide how I was going to navigate the pandemic amid this new medical option, I experienced an inner knowing unlike anything I had experienced before. It was a deep sense of discernment that I could not ignore, and I knew I needed to honor the conviction. It was so powerful and so certain that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this medical opportunity was not one I should jump at.
I was very certain about my decision – even when I experienced pressure from friends who saw things differently, and when I faced the possibility of consequences from my employer (I didn’t make the jump to full time Life Coach until January 2022) as the one employee in the firm who said no to getting it. I am proud that I was able to withstand the criticism, pressure, and uncertainty and stand firm in my conviction because I would rather have experienced discomfort than abandon myself.
The question I had to ask myself during that time was not, “How do I make everyone else understand me?” I really didn’t care if they understood me, because I understood me! The question was, “Can I trust myself enough to handle what happens if I make the choice that feels right for me?”
That question is something many people face throughout their lives, even when the circumstances look completely different. It is the question someone asks when they know they need to leave a career that no longer fits but they are afraid of starting over. It is the question someone asks when they know a relationship is no longer aligned but they fear being alone. It is the question someone asks when they want to take a chance on themselves but they are afraid of failing. The details change, but the internal battle is often the same: can I trust myself?
How Pressure Can Pull Us Away From Ourselves
One of the biggest lessons I learned during that season is how powerful pressure can be. When we feel pressure from the people around us, from society, from our circumstances, or even from our own fears, it can become very easy to look outside of ourselves for answers.
We start searching for approval, looking for the choice that creates the least amount of conflict. We start asking what will keep us safe, accepted, or comfortable instead of asking what is actually aligned with who we are. This is a very human response. We are wired for connection and belonging, we want to feel understood and accepted.
This can show up as someone staying in a job they have outgrown because they are afraid of disappointing their family. It can look like someone saying yes to things they do not want because they are afraid of being seen as difficult. Maybe someone has a dream they have been carrying for years but keep waiting to act on because they are afraid they will make the wrong decision. Sometimes people are not actually lacking answers, they are struggling to trust themselves enough to move forward.
How Fear Changes the Way We Make Decisions
Fear is one of the strongest forces that can disconnect us from ourselves. When we are afraid, our world can become much smaller because our brain naturally begins looking for ways to protect us. Instead of exploring possibilities, we focus on avoiding consequences. Instead of asking what we want, we focus on what we are afraid of losing. Instead of thinking from a place of curiosity, we start thinking from a place of survival.
Fear exists to protect us, but it is generally not always the best place to make decisions from. Our brains can easily confuse fear protecting us from something harmful with fear protecting us from discomfort, growth, or uncertainty. Learning to recognize the difference is a major part of building confidence.
This is something I talk about often with my clients because so many people are waiting to feel completely certain before they take the next step. They are waiting for the fear to disappear before they make a change. They are waiting for someone else to reassure them that they are making the right decision. As I always say, action is the antidote to fear, and action, self confidence and self trust go hand in hand.
Self Trust Comes From Connection
Self trust comes from being connected enough to yourself, your intuition, and to God. These connections allow you to be able to recognize what feels aligned and move forward with confidence.
I believe that our intuition is directly connected to God. The wisdom and discernment are there, but we have to create space to listen and learn how to understand what we are hearing and be brave enough to move forward with the information we are given. When we are constantly influenced by fear, pressure, and other people’s opinions, it becomes much harder to hear that quiet inner guidance.
Self trust means learning to distinguish between the fear that keeps us stuck and the intuition that guides us forward. It means seeking wisdom, praying for clarity, listening to trusted voices, and still trusting that God has given us the ability to make decisions that align with who we are called to be. The more connected we become to ourselves and to God, the easier it becomes to trust the path in front of us.
What I Am Most Proud Of From That Season
When I look back on that season, I am filled with so much pride. I am proud that I advocated for myself, that I didn’t allow fear to influence me and that I continued to show up with compassion for people who made different choices than I did.
I feel so proud that I was able to withstand the bullying, fear mongering, and manipulation and stand firm in my conviction because I would rather have lost it all – including friends and my income – than lose myself.
I supported people who saw things differently. I held space for clients whose beliefs were completely opposite of mine. I listened, asked questions, and helped people work through their own thoughts so they could come to their own conclusions. That matters to me because it represents what true empowerment means.
Empowerment is not telling someone what decision to make. Empowerment is helping someone become connected enough to themselves that they can make decisions from a place of clarity and confidence. I can respect someone else’s choices while honoring my own. I can disagree with someone and still treat them with kindness. I can listen to different perspectives without abandoning myself. That is self trust.
Why Self Trust Is at the Center of My Coaching Work
This experience is one of the reasons I am so passionate about the work I do today as a Dallas Life Coach. The people I work with are often in seasons where they are questioning what comes next. They may feel stuck, disconnected, uncertain, or like they have lost touch with the person they used to be.
Whether someone is navigating a career change, a relationship transition, burnout, a new chapter, or simply the feeling that something in their life no longer feels aligned, the work often comes back to the same place: rebuilding trust with themselves.
My role as a life coach is help you find clarity, quiet the outside noise, separate fear from intuition, and reconnect with the voice you may have been ignoring for years. Because when you trust yourself, everything changes.
The Hardest Thing to Lose Is Yourself
The biggest lesson I took away from that season is something I carry with me into every coaching conversation: the hardest person to lose is yourself. There will always be opinions around you and people who see things differently. There will always be moments when choosing yourself feels uncomfortable.
What I know for sure is that we all have all the answers we are seeking within ourselves. As a Dallas Life Coach serving clients across the country, I want to help my clients uncover those answers. The goal is not to become someone who never feels afraid or uncertain. The goal is to become someone who knows they can return to themselves, listen deeply, seek guidance, and move forward with confidence. If this sounds appealing to you, I invite you to apply for a complimentary consultation.
