On October 7, 2025, I had my third spine surgery in five years. Yes you read that right, and no I didn’t have an accident or genetic issue. In fact, my doctors are as baffled as I am as to how I ended up losing the ability to walk not one but three times. If you’ve ever experienced back pain, which shouldn’t even be called back pain since it’s actually the most blinding nerve pain in your glutes, legs and feet, you know how life stopping it is.
By the time October 7 rolled around, I had been experiencing excruciating pain for over a month and had been put on bedrest for that time frame which meant I was lying flat in bed while trying to keep my coaching business going. I was afraid that if I stepped away from my business for too long that this baby I built from the ground up might fall apart.
It was a horribly scary time in my life that I feared I would never recover from. I am grateful to say that a year later, I am completely pain free for the first time since this all started in the fall of 2019! I am back to my favorite workouts (dance, pilates and yoga), I get to coach my clients sitting in a chair again, and I get to participate in my life in ways I couldn’t during that period of pain. There have been many times I have asked myself ‘what now?’ throughout this journey. Starting over hasn’t been one big moment where everything suddenly felt normal again, but it has been a series of smaller moments, a massive growth in faith, and the patience and resilience to figure things out as I move forward and continue to heal from what I’ve been through and learn more about myself.
It is not lost on me that ‘What now?’ is not only a question my clients come to me asking, it is a question that I find myself asking time and time again. As a Dallas Life Coach who embodies what I coach on, I believe that I go first so that I can lead the way for others.
When the life you knew gets interrupted
You don’t have to experience a health crisis to know what it feels like to ask that question. Maybe you went through a divorce, lost a job, moved to a new state, or realized that the life you worked hard to build doesn’t fit the way it used to. You’re capable. You’ve handled hard things before. And you’d really like someone to tell you exactly what comes next!
I get it. I’m very Type A. I love a good plan, crossing things off a list, and I really love when A+B=C. But when I was in pain and couldn’t do the things I normally did, I couldn’t plan my way out of the uncertainty. A+B and the certainty of inputs and outputs wasn’t getting me anywhere. Most days, I was just trying to get through the day in front of me, literally one minute at a time. It was scary to wonder what would happen to my health, my work, and the freedom I’d built my business to give me if I let go of control, but I had no choice but to surrender (this is a concept I will forever be working on, your girl is a major control freak!!)
If you’re in a season like that, it makes sense that you feel unsettled. Your old way of doing things may no longer work, and you may have no idea what will replace it yet. That gray space sucks people. But it is also where life gets very interesting!
What I learned about accepting help
Going through three spine surgeries taught me that I’m much better at giving support than asking for it. I’m everybody’s biggest hype girl! Letting other people show up for me was harder. The first time I went down in pain, I didn’t even tell anyone! I tried to handle it all myself, which literally left me without food and water since I couldn’t move for longer than I care to admit. By the third surgery I realized that community, vulnerability and communication skills were all areas of my life I had greatly grown in over the years. The minute the pain started, I cast a wide net asking for help, and I even said yes when a friend offered to put together a Meal Train (something I never would have done before)!
There were times I coached by phone while lying flat in bed because I was physically able to work, but couldn’t sit up for a video session. There were also times I needed to step away for appointments, recovery, or a day when I simply felt terrible. I had to be honest about what I could do, ask for help, and let people care about me without treating it as proof that I wasn’t capable.
One of my biggest fears before the fusion was that taking time off would undo everything I’d built. I took two weeks completely off after surgery, and nine new clients signed up for coaching during those two weeks. At the time, that was a record for my business. A new client influx! I believe God sent them. I don’t share that as a promise that stepping away will produce the same result for anybody else. I share it because, in a moment when I was terrified to loosen my grip, it reminded me that I didn’t have to control every outcome myself.
My relationship with God grew much deeper during that painful season. I asked Him to help me endure what was happening, and I began leaning on Him in a way I hadn’t before. I still don’t have a tidy explanation for why I went through it. I can be grateful for the support I found without calling the suffering good. Two things can be true at once.
Starting over doesn’t mean starting from zero
After a major life change, it can feel like you should have a clear new plan before you take a step. But you’re bringing everything you’ve learned with you, including the things you learned while life was difficult.
For me, recovery has changed how I think about strength. Sometimes it looks like getting back to something I love. Sometimes it looks like asking for help, adjusting a plan, or recognizing that a harder day doesn’t erase the progress I’ve made. I’m paying closer attention to what matters most to me: my health, my loved ones, living with purpose, and God.
I see a version of this in coaching, too. A client may come in saying, “I feel stuck,” when underneath that is a much more specific question: Who am I now that this part of my life has changed? We don’t have to force an answer on day one. We can get curious about what still fits, what doesn’t, and what they want to choose next.
One year after my spinal fusion, I’m grateful to be asking “what now?” from a different place than I was a year ago. I don’t have every answer, and I don’t need to pretend I do. I get to keep participating in my life and making choices about what comes next. You do, too.
If life has changed and you’re ready to get clear on your next chapter, apply for a complimentary consultation. We got this. 🙌
