Ok friends let me give you some real talk. Every single person struggles with self confidence on some level. Maybe you don’t feel like you’re good enough at work or in building your business, maybe you find yourself trying to be someone you’re not on a date because you’re so focused on getting the person sitting across from you to like you that you forget to ask yourself if you even like them or maybe you just don’t feel confident in life in general!
Regardless of how it shows up (and sometimes a lack of self confidence is really sneaky in how it shows up), your self confidence could probably use some loving kindness and a nice little boost.
The thing about confidence is that most people think it is something you either have or you don’t. We look at confident people and assume they were just born that way, but the truth is confidence is built over time. Self confidence is shaped by our experiences, the way we talk to ourselves, and the relationship we have with ourselves.
Why Do We Lose Our Confidence?
So why do so many of us find ourselves struggling with confidence? The list could be endless, but there are a few common reasons why you might need some self esteem support.
One of the biggest reasons is comparison. We live in a world where we constantly see what everyone else is doing, and it becomes really easy to convince ourselves that we are behind. Maybe someone else got the promotion you wanted, got married before you did, bought a house, started a business, or seems to have their entire life figured out. The problem is that we are comparing our full, complicated, real life experience to someone else’s highlight reel. That comparison will always leave you feeling like you are not enough.
Another reason confidence can take a hit is because we do not take the time to celebrate our own progress. We accomplish something we have worked incredibly hard for, and instead of acknowledging how far we have come, we immediately raise the bar and move on to the next thing. We tell ourselves we will finally feel confident when we reach the next goal, get the next opportunity, lose the weight, find the relationship, or accomplish whatever comes next. But when do we actually allow ourselves to feel proud of who we are today?
And then there are the life experiences that simply knock us off our feet. A difficult breakup or divorce, losing a job, experiencing a major health event, or going through a significant life transition can completely change the way we see ourselves. When life feels uncertain, it is normal for our confidence to take a hit because we start questioning what we are capable of handling.
I know this because I have experienced many of these things myself. I have walked through heartbreak, career transitions, and major health challenges that forced me to rebuild my own confidence and reconnect with who I was. Whatever brought you here, please know you are not alone.
As a Certified Life Coach in Dallas, Texas, coaching stuck go-getters throughout the country through virtual 1:1 coaching sessions, self confidence is one of the top reasons clients seek out coaching with me. They want to overcome self doubt, stop second guessing themselves, and feel more confident moving forward in their lives.
How To Be More Confident
When it comes to boosting your confidence, the biggest shift you can make is realizing that your confidence cannot come from outside of yourself.
Compliments feel good. Getting recognition at work feels good. Social media likes feel good. Having someone else tell you that you are doing a great job feels good. But those things are temporary, and if your confidence depends on them, it will always feel like it can disappear at any moment.
Your self confidence cannot be tied to your appearance, your relationship status, your career, your financial situation, or anyone else’s opinion of you. Those things can change, and when they do, you do not want your entire sense of worth to change along with them.
Real confidence comes from within. It comes from knowing yourself, trusting yourself, and understanding that your worth is not something you earn through accomplishments or validation from other people.
This is why connecting with your authentic self is such an important part of building confidence. When you spend years trying to be who you think everyone else wants you to be, it becomes really easy to lose sight of who you actually are. You start making decisions based on expectations instead of what feels aligned for you.
Confidence grows when you start honoring yourself, trusting yourself, and showing up as the person you truly are.
The Connection Between Self Confidence And Self Trust
One of the biggest things I have noticed while coaching clients is that confidence struggles are often connected to self trust. Think about how often you make promises to yourself and then break them. Maybe you tell yourself you are going to get up early and go to yoga, but when the alarm goes off, you decide to sleep in. Maybe you tell yourself you are finally going to apply for that job, have the difficult conversation, set the boundary, or take the next step toward something you want, but another week goes by and nothing changes.
These moments may seem small, but over time they impact the relationship you have with yourself. Every time you follow through on a commitment you make to yourself, you build trust. Every time you repeatedly ignore your own needs, desires, or goals, you begin teaching yourself that your own word does not matter.
When you don’t trust yourself, confidence becomes much harder to build. The good news is that self trust can be rebuilt. It happens through small actions where you begin proving to yourself that you are someone you can count on.
Dallas Life Coach For Self Confidence
If you read that last section and felt like the emoji with a spiral in place of its mouth and eyes, let’s talk. Building confidence is a layered process because you are a unique, layered individual. There is no one-size-fits-all approach because the reasons behind your confidence struggles are specific to your experiences, your beliefs, and your story.
My life coaching process is uniquely tailored to your individual needs. Together, we would explore how connected you are to your authentic self, what you have been told about yourself throughout your life, what you believe about yourself today, and what experiences may have chipped away at your self esteem.
Sometimes the beliefs that hold us back are not even beliefs we created ourselves. They came from things people said to us, experiences we had, or moments where we started questioning our own worth.
We also look at habits you may unknowingly be engaging in that are damaging your confidence. A big one I see often is breaking promises to yourself. When you constantly tell yourself you are going to do something and then do not follow through, it slowly impacts your ability to trust yourself. Confidence coaching clears away the things that have gotten in the way of you being you so you can reconnect with who you truly are.
If you are interested in learning more about boosting your self confidence, overcoming self doubt, and creating a clear roadmap to move forward, I invite you to apply for a complimentary consultation.
You can live anywhere and coach with me virtually. Together, we can work on rebuilding your confidence, strengthening your self trust, and helping you move forward with more clarity and confidence.
